A Coy and Aloof Person is Subjective
A Coy and Aloof Person is Subjective
The subjectivity of a person can be detected in the smallest of things, for it is a natural habit. If you have learned the essential lesson of having your subjectivity broken, you will easily discern it in many small details of life. A subjective person is that way in all things. He loves to control people; he delights in being opinionated; he takes pleasure in giving orders. He knows what to do in every situation and circumstance. When a young person steps out to serve the Lord, put him together with a few other people, and soon you will see whether or not he is subjective. If he is alone in one place, you are not apt to find out. But when two people are put together, you see at once that the subjective person will try to dominate the other. He will insist on eating certain things, wearing clothing in a certain way, and sleeping at a certain hour. He is omniscient and omnipotent. Put two sisters in one room, and you will discern which sister, if either, is subjective. Put two subjective people together, and they will come to an impasse. One such person may live peacefully, but two such people cannot live on together.
This does not mean, however, that hereafter we should not say anything. When there is difficulty in the work or a problem with people, we cannot be unfaithful by remaining aloof. What we mean is that after we have spoken, we will not force them to adhere. If they do not listen after we have spoken, we will not feel hurt. So precious and dear to themselves are the opinions of some people that they are hurt if they are not listened to. Such is the feeling of subjective people. Yet, for the sake of faithfulness, we have to speak out. To speak out, though, is not to be construed as signifying that the person doing the speaking is a busybody or that he has a talkative temperament. But for those who are subjective, it is wrong to speak without first having been taught. God has not appointed us to be masters of all. Some have the habit of always speaking or teaching in every situation. This plainly indicates that one is a subjective person.
Unless his kind of temperament is broken, he is not fit to work for God. A subjective person is not necessarily a faithful person. One who is faithful speaks only when it is needed and not because he likes to speak or has the lust for talking. He speaks in order to rescue people from error. If he is rejected, he is not distressed since he is also able to remain quiet. Not so, however, with a subjective person, because having the lust to speak out on all occasions, he feels troubled if he does not speak. Have you ever noticed that a subjective person speaks out of his talkativeness? He simply loves to place his opinion upon other people. His idea becomes a yoke to others. He wants them to listen to him. He feels outraged if his opinion is ignored.
A subjective person and a faithful person are totally different from each other. We should be faithful. Many times it is wrong for us to keep quiet. Nevertheless, we must distinguish between faithfulness and subjectivity. The latter kind of person loves to meddle in others’ business. He wants people to listen to him. He tries to control others.
His way is always the first and the best. His way is most correct; therefore, everybody should walk in it. He cannot tolerate differences. Let it be known that the smallest person in the world is the subjective person. Only after one’s subjectivity has been dealt with by God can he become a big man, so big that he is able to tolerate differences. Subjectivity is uniformity; it cannot bear any differences. That is why there will be no peace if two subjective people are put into one room. Each has his own idea, so the room will be full of strife. Each feels he is bearing the other’s cross.
Be aware that a subjective person tends to take things into his hands and set himself up as the leader of God’s people. He will decide everything for them. He has the habit of interfering in the smallest matters, and he likes to control everything. Because of this basic flaw, God will not commit himself to such people. We have never seen Him do so to such ones for He cannot use them. Nor have we ever seen any subjective person walk deeply in the Lord, simply because he has an unteachable temperament.
Because a subjective person is opinionated and always meddling in other men’s affairs, this constitutes a great difficulty in the work of the Lord. He cannot learn, hence God cannot trust him. He expends all his energy on his subjective lifestyle so that there is no strength left to expend on God’s work. When a person meddles in others’ affairs, he neglects his own affairs. He tries to keep the vineyard of others but overlooks his own vineyard.
Let us acknowledge the fact that we really have no leisure time to be subjective. God has put into our hands enough ministries, responsibilities and concerns to care for so that we do not have the time to be busybodies. We need to concentrate our strength and time on performing that which we must finish. We are busy enough. Unless we forsake the work of God and leave our own responsibility, we will have no time to delve into the small affairs of others. This much is clear, that all who are subjective leave their own business undone that they might meddle in other men’s business. How can we expect such a person to work well for God if he neglects his own work? A subjective person can therefore never do well in the Lord’s work. The Lord cannot entrust anything to him since he will fail in every trust.
It is difficult to change one’s subjectivity because it is a habit already formed and deeply ingrained. In his daily life, as we have seen, he is subjective in everything and at all times. He is not only this way in God’s work, he is also this way in his daily concerns as well as in other men’s affairs. A subjective man is truly the busiest person in the world inasmuch as he feels compelled to look after everything. He is not able to walk the straight path of God. In all matters—whether large or small—he has his idea, opinion and way. This becomes a hindrance to spirituality. We need to ask the Lord:
"O Lord, be gracious to us that we may become tender and not be set in concrete before You and before our brothers and sisters."
Take a look at Paul one more time. "His letters, they say, are weighty and strong" (2 Cor. 10.10a). In truth, while he dealt with the testimony before God, his words were weighty and strong. But let us note how he was viewed by the Corinthians: "his bodily presence is weak, and his speech of no account" (2 Cor. l0.10b). Paul would not relax as it pertained to the testimony he kept, and hence his letters were weighty and strong. But when he met the Corinthians, he was perceived as being a tender and flexible person. We need to distinguish between our ministry, which is to be weighty and strong, and our personality, which must not be subjective. Some preach Christ out of good will. Let us thank God for that. Some, though, preach Christ out of envy and strife. Let us thank God as well. For in every way Christ is proclaimed; and hence, we should rejoice even as did Paul (see Phil. 1.15-18).
Do we see the balance here? We thank God if people, out of good will, want to walk with us; we are not distressed, however, if they prefer to go another way. Let us maintain this balance: faithful in testimony and not subjective in life. The faithful person is not subjective; yet the subjective person may not be faithful. These two are clearly distinguishable.
To sum up, then, subjectivity is nothing else but the manifestation of an unbroken self. We need to ask the Lord to break us so that we will not be subjective in the affairs of others as well as in our own matters. Once having been broken by the Lord we will become tender and flexible. Otherwise, if we lack this experience of brokenness, we will always remain more or less subjective. Some may be strongly subjective, others may be less so; nevertheless, in relation to others, there will always be—to one degree or another—imposed opinions, coercive methods, and attempts at control.
May the Lord deal with us drastically that we will not be able to stand on our own ground again. And once that happens we shall have the capacity to be faithful in testimony and to grant people the freedom to choose whether or not to listen to us. We will cease to speak on every occasion; we will cease to be teachers to so many people; and we will never force others to follow us. Let us ever be strong in ministry, but let us continually learn to be gentle in life. In short, we must not be subjective.
