Skeptic

i was always a freethinker/skeptic

im worried i did the unpardonable sin by denying what i knew was right
(christianity) and worse off, praying to satan, and getting an answer.

i had been hearing voices telling me to turn from my path o looking at
world religion and consciousness amd psychology. the voice said if you
keep doing this you will burn in hell forever. i heard oter voices
too, i hear people talking about me, i ave thoughts bounce around in
my head.

at one time i wasmdesperate for divine help. (previous to all of this,
i would feel moved by christians witnessing to me buand sometimes i
tohght that i t was right and i would admit it when i was older...)

so i was wanting divine help, i also thought that satan would tell me
the truth and maybwe givine me knowledge for help on a musical
instruemnt, or just tell me the truth about god

so i tried playing a devil intercal on my instruemnt a perfector
diminished 7th, i cant rmeember, its from a solo called "vox
gabrielli) the voice of gabrielle, also in a tartini piece the devils
trill

so i was high on weed at the time and overwhelmed by demonic voices
and thoughts, and i thought i heard satan. i heard voices saying "we
wil lgive you what you want"

i didnt want to saty yes but i wold hear a weak voice inside me say
yes, i heard rage and anguish and laughing, people shouting "fool" and
i eard a voice saying your soul is mine and another voice inside
saying yes, i kept on wanting to say no no, but i didnt think it
worked. becuase i have felt doomed ever since, andi have heard voices
telling me, its too late, you are doomed, you know what you did


and when i pray to jesus i hear a voice say im sorry, go away, it too
late, i cant help you, no etc

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before tis happeed

Sometmes I t was like people were tlaking about whatever was on my
mind, other times aboout things I didnt think I was thinking about

at first the voices had to do with fears of mine

people would talk about my sexuality (i am straight, possibly bi, I
think everyone might be bi) and voices (people around me) were calling
me gay

i had a lot of problems wit my folks and at home so people would call
me a jerk, evil child, abusive child etc

in the height of a delusion and on marijuana at the time, I started
calling out for supernatural assistance trying to stop voices and
delusions

i didnt think god was answering

so I got on a musical instrumenrt and played the devils interval
(perfect seventh) trying to get satan to respon

he did, the experience teerrified me

i had knowledge that he existed which was what I wanted (i just wanted
an answer from some form of divinity)

i heard voices inside me talking, some yelling at me

i can have your soul now! Anorther weaker terrified voice said "yes"
i didnt think I wanted to say yes

as I start to analyze my situation from a jungian situation, I think
part of me did want to live out this bizarre hopeless myth but tharts
another story

right now I am in a world where I feel doomed and hopeless, knowing
after I die I will be tormented forever, fried in oil, things of that
nature

i thik I have psychic ability, able to read others tohughts (not when
I want to of course)

i especially have a conection with other lost souls, witches, =damned,
evil children, bad seeds, etc

i try callignthe m out in public, interoggatig them without actually
asking "hey did you sell your soul too?"

i hear them say yes its true, its real, its horrible

just shut upo and stop worrying about it, turn your brain off

i guess these are all complexes from my shadow (according to jung)
talking to me

and I had an archetypal experience with the devil

my rational side doesnt beleive in christ an all rhat

altohugh sometimes voices seem to want me to go back to christianity

well im glad I found this place

i will post up my whole story from a psychological standpoint to
explain what happened
yes, tis is what makes sense to me. that man manifests reality and looks at life in temrs of the associations he has been taught/picked up wit certain myths, avatar figures, archetypes ad oter ideas.

but im dealing with intangible mmbo jumbo now

i wonder if christianity is really right.

i go on sites like "christiananswers.net and am perplexed, it seems so silly and so obviously psychological

but then again

i did blsheme

i did "have a feeling" precvious to this, and on several times, that jesus was real. i just attributed it to brainwahsing, ad to feelng good becuase i "knew" that jesus was associated wit savig someone from ell and sending to heaven.

christians and the bible ad sites dont stand up to intense scientidfic questioning i thoght. i still think

bt now im like, well jesus, it doesnt make any sense to me but ibeleive

and i hear a voice saying, sorry ,it is too late. i hear you calling but it is too late

i didc all on satan after all. that means i called on what was evil

maybe i tohught evil was good, thereby thinkig that jesus was bad, which is blasphemig the holy spirit.

this is maybe what i did.

even now
'
if i convert, i dont nkow how will save other souls.

college kids will come at me with their dumb questions, i could convert most people to christianity you realize. most anti christians dont know how to argue against christianity. i can do it, but if i was a chrisitan i wouldnt know what to tell them

i would say. i know. its crazy. just hope that heaven is gonna kick ass, becuase its completely funking crazy!

of course i am in love wit the world, i like indians and i like vodou "cults"

if i wnet to a missionary there, would i feel like i was in the unclean presence of evil. n i woud not. i dont understand. why can i understand christian arguments, but they cant understand my arguments.


i can see how everything is psychological and made up of complexes and associations in the mind..

god seems revealed through humans reaching beautiful potential and beauty

i see this in all faiths and walks of faith

or maybe i dont

maybe im deluded into loving the world
im too scared of ell

i know that christians sometimes say this isnt a reason to ecome christian

i dont nkow how to get my mind around hell

i dont care

teir arguments are absurd

its basically like this

"god is completely waco but he can be wacko, we beleive he is god and can do what he wants, we somehow define this whole thing as love and we use reason sometimes but when confronted with reason wego th parts of the bible that dsecry reason, also, it doesnt seem wacko to us becuase its god. and if you think its wacko, too bad, it is still god."

when christians use "logic" or try to "reason"

it makes me wNT TO PULL MY EYES OUT.

but ineed to surrender and be saved. im going to a church thi sunday. a girl i like goes there, if ibecome christian then she might like me, as it stands she will only marry a christian. i just want to be right with god nd with ahave a girl that loves me, and then i will devote my life to feeding children and spreading the gospel

hopefully the part of me that loves worl culture will be burned out by gods love. i will make christian music, everyrhing wil lbe ok, i can still follow my passions and be a christan. well i can be a christian in accordance with my talents i suppose, i see what i can contribute to the christian movement. great food from heathen cultures, and christian music with most of its musical influence from heathen music. i will finally go tohaiti and finally learn creole and ten i wil lstart converting yorubans from their evil cult. i will go to india too and convert all of them as well. the whole world will be converted. maybe the reason i had a love of all these other cultures was so it would be easier for me to convert them

but i peoabably wont convert.

there is a voice inside me telling me its too late.

i think i blasphemed against the holy spirit.

the feeling that makes me think jesus is real. i had it before all this started.

i still get it sometimes, but i feel that it too late anyway

there is a voice saying "no" "no im sorry" its too late. sometimes the voice says "all you can do i spread te message"

i must have really contacted satan

and blasphemed.

before my voices got this bad i heard a voice saying "if you follow this path, you are gonna burn in hell forever" now its too late. the voic tells me its too late. i didnt heed the warning and it is really too late i fear.

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Originally Posted by deshadow

i was always a freethinker/skeptic

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Lots of people say the same thing about themselves, but in fact they are not.

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m worried i did the unpardonable sin by denying what i knew was right (christianity) and worse off, praying to satan, and getting an answer.

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Rejecting Christ is not an unpardonable sin. You can still receive Christ into your life.

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and when i pray to jesus i hear a voice say im sorry, go away, it too late, i cant help you, no etc

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You are not praying to Jesus. How can you even pray to him if you have no life relationship with him, by not receiving the Son of GOd into your life?

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people would talk about my sexuality (i am straight, possibly bi, I think everyone might be bi) and voices (people around me) were calling me gay

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God didn't make you to have same-sex.

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marijuana

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You won't be able to overcome these things truly if you are not born-again as this behavior will just crop up in another bad habit.

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as I start to analyze my situation from a jungian situation, I think part of me did want to live out this bizarre hopeless myth but tharts another story

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Man's psychology is laden with sin and selfish attempts at improvement, so why seek mental (soulical) stirrings to help you, for it is the mind that is the problem? The solution is the quickening of the spirit by the Holy Spirit.

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i thik I have psychic ability, able to read others tohughts (not when I want to of course)

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Nobody is able to read another person's mind.

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my rational side doesnt beleive in christ an all rhat

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It's not really rational then is it? It only thinks it is. The flesh wars against the Spirit.

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why can i understand christian arguments, but they cant understand my arguments.

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They can understand you. They see that you think you understand Christian truths, but in fact you do not.

I think instead of having grand plans, seek to spend more time consecrating yourself when you get saved. All those accusatory voices from the evil spirit need to be overcome, and the only way to do that effectively is by the dividing of your spirit, soul and body. There is no other way.

Know in your heart you are rushing your soulical self inordinately. You don't have the patience to capitalize your "I"'s, dot your sentences and are reeling off your emotion. All of this needs deliverance through the cross by the Holy Spirit to deny self yet again.

The reason for all this confusion is because of not denying self, which blocks grace from entering your spirit's intuition to know what is really going on.

I am trying

How can i better deny self? I try and stay active, responsible and purposeful, helping others and thinking positivity, using my minds mental energy to think positive tohughts, etc.

I know i dont think mind readign is possible eter.

But i was hearing voices which seemed like i was hearing thoughts. And i n my warped view, if i had indeed made a devil encounter and had been tormented by satan, then maybe i would be tormented with supernatural powers. Its in the bible right? Supernatural stff is possible, but it is forbidden/unspeakable.

I did not actually ask for this. But i did think that i was eharing the devil, and i did think that he had my soul, ad that my soul was lost.

I was questioning whether maybe i did beleive in christ before all of this, and that is why it was beneficial for the devil to take my soul after i tried contacting him. Sometimes i felt like it was true. But I always attribut4d it to brainwashing.

How do you know what freethinking is if you do not entertain the mere possibility that you are wrong and that you are brainwashed?

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Originally Posted by deshadow

I am trying

How can i better deny self? I try and stay active, responsible and purposeful, helping others and thinking positivity, using my minds mental energy to think positive tohughts, etc.

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Stop trying. If your mind is unsaved, then using that which is fallen to save you is vain.

"You won't be able to overcome these things truly if you are not born-again as this behavior will just crop up in another bad habit."

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How do you know what freethinking is if you do not entertain the mere possibility that you are wrong and that you are brainwashed?

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Once one knows something, to entertain that you could be wrong is as though you didn't really know that something in the first place.

If you are using MIE, use the ABC spell checker in the top right corner when you are posting. If not use Word or something to spell check yourself first. This is a considerate thing to do.

You have a choice. You can keep conversing with demonic spirits, or you allow God's redemptive design to work in you to shut down their operations in your life.

people of other faiths "know" they are right

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Originally Posted by deshadow

people of other faiths "know" they are right

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Don't assume they know since their beliefs can be proven false. Many people think they know, but if they can be proven wrong, then they are wrong.

Beliefs of any other nature can be wrong. The bible is very well written from a psychological standpoint, i can see how it could be brainwashing.

How can any of this be proven right or wrong?

That is how brainwashing works, beleif in something that cant be proven. Until the mind makes it "real" for the believer...

How does one prove a follower of another beleif wrong.

How does one prove a christian right?

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Originally Posted by deshadow

Beliefs of any other nature can be wrong. The bible is very well written from a psychological standpoint, i can see how it could be brainwashing.

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Not only can they be, they are!

The Bible is not written from a psychological standpoint, but a spiritual standpoint.

You can't see how it is brainwashing as evident by the fact you can't explain yourself. But you would be able to see how other beliefs are brainwashing.

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How can any of this be proven right or wrong?

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With evidence.

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That is how brainwashing works, beleif in something that cant be proven. Until the mind makes it "real" for the believer...

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So you see other beliefs can't be proven, can even be proven false, but the Bible is fully proven.

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How does one prove a follower of another beleif wrong.

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With the truth.

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How does one prove a christian right?

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First you have to recognize God created, then you look to see who is the most holy person that ever lived and see what he said of himself and the testimony surrounding his life. Jesus said He is God and lived it, then died for you to save you from yourself. The Apostles were put to their death for their testimony of seeing Jesus resurrected.

I can show how I think it might work from a psychological standpoint.


I do think that ALL beleifs use brainwashing. I dont know if its bad.

I just dont see the love in "beleive in me or hell."

I do see hell as one of the best scare tactics in the universe.


I dont see all the "not one is good" and "dirty rag deeds" in all the people of the world who do not have god in the christian sense.

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Originally Posted by Faithful

First you have to recognize God created, then you look to see who is the most holy person that ever lived and see what he said of himself and the testimony sorrounding his life. Jesus said He is God and lived it, then died for you to save you from yourself.

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yeah thats what the bible says.

what about all the left out books?

How come there arent accounts of all this stuff outside of cannonical texts (and how come a lot of the cannonical texts didnt make it into the bible?)

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Originally Posted by deshadow

I can show how I think it might work from a psychological standpoint.

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No you can't, because you overlook the spirit.

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I do think that ALL beleifs use brainwashing. I dont know if its bad.

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The truth needs not to brainwash.

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I just dont see the love in "beleive in me or hell."

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Since you were born into sin and sin leads to death and the second death, God provides a perfect loving salvation. To refuse His forgiveness has to place you somewhere since you will never cease to exist, and that somewhere is in hell because you are made in the image of God with God-consciousness in your spirit to know this salvation. Thus, you would be without excuse.

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I do see hell as one of the best scare tactics in the universe.

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It is not designed to scare, but a necessity to keep you eternally separated from God's own people who are being perfected to sinlessness and selflessness.

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I dont see all the "not one is good" and "dirty rag deeds" in all the people of the world who do not have god in the christian sense.

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It's true, we are all born into sin. The proof is no person has never not sinned but Jesus.

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Originally Posted by deshadow

yeah thats what the bible says.

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There is no better testimony than the 40+ writers of the Bible in the 66 books in complete agreement over 1500 years. There is nothing like it human history. Even those outside Christianity talk about his diety and death in ancient sources. So much evidence indicates the historical Jesus is a fact; this agrees with a loving God that would provide a salvation and to give eternal life.

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what about all the left out books?

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There were were no books left out. There are a complete 66 books. 6 is the number of Satan and the number of man, and God seeks to separate this union through the Word of God.

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How come there arent accounts of all this stuff outside of cannonical texts (and how come a lot of the canonical texts didnt make it into the bible?)

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There is internal as well as external evidences. There are other texts that were excluded for very specific reasons. If any book has any mistake or doesn't flow perfectly with the agreement of the Word already given, then it of course does not belong.

Your spelling is horrible. Why not be more considerate when you post?

So where are these voices comming form? Did i lose my soul to satan? Did i actually contact satan? Did i give it to him? Could I if I wanted to irrevocably?



I have heard interpretations that sy jesus came to save everyone regardless of if they wanted it or tohught they wanted it or not.



I see what you are saying. But no christians are sinless and many people of other faiths are doing a quite good job at not sinning a lot.

I feel like i want to gfollow christ. Although i am worried that its too late for me. I worry that i did unpardonable sin. And I worry about all the people going to hell. I would want jesus to save all of them. Cant god do that?
Didnt jesus say I will draw all men unto me?

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Originally Posted by deshadow

So where are these voices comming form? Did i lose my soul to satan? Did i actually contact satan? Did i give it to him? Could I if I wanted to irrevocably?

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Since these voices are not from God, because they cause you agitation, you know they are either self-induced or from an evil spirit. As long as you are not saved, your soul is bound for hell where Satan is going too. If you truly received Christ you could be saved, but you don't want that do you?

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I have heard interpretations that sy jesus came to save everyone regardless of if they wanted it or tohught they wanted it or not.

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Never in the Bible do we see Jesus saving people that didn't want to be saved or not saving people that wanted to be saved authentically.

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I see what you are saying. But no christians are sinless and many people of other faiths are doing a quite good job at not sinning a lot.

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No people of other faiths are doing well at all, for to still call Jesus a liar is sure death. Christians on the other hand have been forgiven for all our sins, and have the power of the cross by the Spirit to overcome sin unto perfection.

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I feel like i want to gfollow christ. Although i am worried that its too late for me. I worry that i did unpardonable sin. And I worry about all the people going to hell. I would want jesus to save all of them. Cant god do that?

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No man alive today can commit the unpardonable sin (unless of course the Antichrist and the False Prophet are already walking the Earth today and there are those who take the mark of the beast). That only existed at the time when Christ was on Earth in the flesh. Certain conditions needed to occur for the blaspheming of the Holy Spirit to take place. It is nothing you need to worry about. Jesus wants to save everyone going to hell, but not everyone wants to be saved, just like you. If you don't want it, your wanting others to be saved is not real. You really don't want others to be saved if you yourself don't want it.

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Didnt jesus say I will draw all men unto me?

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Jesus does draw all men unto Him one way or another which causes the separation of hell and the new city when heaven and earth come together on the new earth.