How are we going to know what part of our thoughts or our decisions is from God and what part is our own? Sometimes there is only a hair-breadth difference; and hence we find we just cannot differentiate them. We may ask ourselves, Is this myself, or the Lord, in me? Is it from my spirit or from my soul? We try to dissect our thoughts and words and acts in order to know which part is natural and which part is spiritual. This is a most difficult task, and we grow quite desperate when trying to make the discrimination.
To try to do this is fatal. It only results in perplexity and hesitation. Nothing is definite or settled; it is like always being in a maze—or in a haze. But this whole approach is wrong. God has never told us that we can find within ourselves what is the soul and what is the spirit. Such an approach is wrong and the person trying to do it is also wrong. God has never meant for us to do this, because looking within will only result in darkness. Self-examination in this regard will never result in our finding the light. For all is dark inside us. To follow this track will lead us nowhere. It is a blind alley. So we must stop doing it.
“The word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.” When we say or feel we are right or wrong, the question becomes, How do we know it? From where came the light—that is to say, the knowledge of whether it is right or wrong? From within ourselves or from the word of God? Has there been revelation? There must be revelation or light on the basis of God’s word so that we really see. The moment the Holy Spirit throws light on God’s word, we see and we know.
We must have the light that kills. Under such light we see that everything about us is soulish. Hence revelation is what we need, because it slays and it does the work. Outside of revelation, God does no other work. It is enough when we obtain revelation, for then the work is done. The moment we receive revelation and see ourselves as God sees us, at that very moment we are weakened and our soul life dies. The light which comes from revelation brings with it power; or rather, it itself is power. So all depends on revelation. There is nothing left after that for God to do. There is no second step to take—revelation or light does it all.
As at Peniel, Jacob said, “I have seen God face to face.” This is the place of revelation. It is not just an experience, it is a being face to face with God himself. It is not God’s working; it is Light itself. Light kills, but better yet, light cleanses. The only reason we have not had the light is because we have had no room for it. We have shut the door. We are closed to it. Pray that we may be open to it. We shall not obtain the light until we are open to it. And when the light comes, it kills. Yet after we receive the light, we should never look within and ask ourselves if we are right or wrong, if this is soulish or spiritual. Only pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
You should learn to open yourselves up. Do not deceive yourselves, nor be proud. Be humble and study to be sincere. Oftentimes we are not sincere with God and with His word. Sometimes the light comes slowly, only little by little. But when it comes, yield to it. Walk softly with fear and trembling. Deal with self to the uttermost limit, or rather, let the Holy Spirit deal with you without restraint. The reason we lack discernment with respect to other people’s situations is because we have not allowed God to give us light about ourselves. We need to discern our own self first. Then we can help others to see.