I think you are acknowledging your own sin of despising these little ones (Matt. 18.10). The Bible never calls the grave hell. The grave is synonymous with the place of rest or sleep. Hell is eternal separation from God. Death and hades (place of rest or sleep, the grave) is cast into the lake of fire (hell) which is the second death.
God has infinite foreknowledge. He can foresee all events, so any that perished who got caught in the crossfire but were saved would receive God's eternal blessings.
A different rule applies to infants who die. After David's son died when he was only seven days old (2 Sam 12:18), David said: "I will go to him." (2 Sam 12:23) He believed that this child who had died, was saved. We may also believe that our infants who have died are saved, because God has made specific promises to those who believe in Him. (Acts 16:31)
Isa 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
Isa 7:15 Butter and honey shall he eat, when he knoweth to refuse the evil, and choose the good.
Isa 7:16 For before the child shall know to refuse the evil, and choose the good, the land whose two kings thou abhorrest shall be forsaken (northern Israel which is Lebanon and southern Syria today, and Aram, i.e. around Damascus of Syria today).
This is a double fulfillment of Isaiah's son of a virgin, possibly another wife. This will be true for all children, not just Jesus Christ, eventually one day, recognizing these evil regions, inhabitants therein. God promises to preserve a remnant of the 12 tribes of all of Israel in the days of Solomon since Rev. 7.1-8 becomes that remnant that will return. At a very young age, we begin to have free-choice.
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